Bo Burnham Quotes

Top 92 wise famous quotes and sayings by Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Bo Burnham on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bo Burnham quotes: I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed
Bo Burnham quotes: I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me. I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham quotes: I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something. I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.
Bo Burnham quotes: My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it. My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham quotes: Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book. Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
Bo Burnham quotes: If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural. If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
Bo Burnham quotes: For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form. For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
Bo Burnham quotes: And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die. And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.
Bo Burnham quotes: My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition. My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
Bo Burnham quotes: I've always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people. I've always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people.
Bo Burnham quotes: Forever and An Instant met up one day,Had a short, but lovely talk, then each went on it's way. Forever and An Instant met up one day,
Had a short, but lovely talk,
then each went on it's way.
Bo Burnham quotes: In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
Bo Burnham quotes: I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.' I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'
Bo Burnham quotes: Where are all the sour patch parents? Where are all the sour patch parents?
Bo Burnham quotes: I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience. I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham quotes: Searching I'm not looking in every nook and cranny for it. I'll do the nooks. No way I left my keys in some fucking cranny. Searching I'm not looking in every nook and cranny for it. I'll do the nooks. No way I left my keys in some fucking cranny.
Bo Burnham quotes: Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on. Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
Bo Burnham quotes: I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it. I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham quotes: I try and write satire that's well-intentioned. But those intentions have to be hidden. It can't be completely clear, and that's what makes it comedy. I try and write satire that's well-intentioned. But those intentions have to be hidden. It can't be completely clear, and that's what makes it comedy.
Bo Burnham quotes: What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham quotes: MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it Mmmmmm
I like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it
Bo Burnham quotes: The average person has one Fallopian tube. The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham quotes: I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments. I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
Bo Burnham quotes: I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage. I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham quotes: And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France. And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face. I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
Bo Burnham quotes: Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate. Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham quotes: When life gets you down, make a comforter! When life gets you down, make a comforter!
Bo Burnham quotes: Most of my songs make fun of myself. Most of my songs make fun of myself.
Bo Burnham quotes: People do complain about the way I act on stage ... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms. People do complain about the way I act on stage ... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham quotes: When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed. When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham quotes: People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist ... how do we fix Africa?' People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist ... how do we fix Africa?'
Bo Burnham quotes: Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't. Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
Bo Burnham quotes: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names. What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
Bo Burnham quotes: I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face. I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham quotes: Judge Jesus I said, "You can't judge me. Only Jesus can!" He said, "Well I can 'cause I'm a judge and 'cause you just killed a man. Judge Jesus I said, "You can't judge me. Only Jesus can!" He said, "Well I can 'cause I'm a judge and 'cause you just killed a man.
Bo Burnham quotes: Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change? Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
Bo Burnham quotes: No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.
Bo Burnham quotes: Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist. Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
Bo Burnham quotes: There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind. There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind.
Bo Burnham quotes: The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever. The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham quotes: I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Bo Burnham quotes: I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy. I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham quotes: For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet. For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham quotes: I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me ... I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me ...
Bo Burnham quotes: I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer I saw a giraffe with a short neck
That was sad
Or a deer
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now. I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now.
Bo Burnham quotes: Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth. Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.
Bo Burnham quotes: Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke ... tumors. Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke ... tumors.
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically? I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
Bo Burnham quotes: I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to. I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham quotes: Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy. Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham quotes: You guys like impressions? Why? You guys like impressions? Why?
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy. I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
Bo Burnham quotes: If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land? If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham quotes: Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head. Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham quotes: If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn't respect that. If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn't respect that.
Bo Burnham quotes: Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own. Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham quotes: Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try? Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
Bo Burnham quotes: I just like to write and then perform. I just like to write and then perform.
Bo Burnham quotes: We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc. We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
Bo Burnham quotes: I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching. I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
Bo Burnham quotes: I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike. I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
Bo Burnham quotes: I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist. I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Bo Burnham quotes: If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham quotes: Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person. Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
Bo Burnham quotes: My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like ... boys. My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like ... boys.
Bo Burnham quotes: Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist. Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham quotes: I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome. I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham quotes: For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies. For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
Bo Burnham quotes: I get more ass than a giant donkey stable. I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham quotes: I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface. I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham quotes: I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun. I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.
Bo Burnham quotes: I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I ... don't. I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I ... don't.
Bo Burnham quotes: Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively. Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
Bo Burnham quotes: People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy. People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
Bo Burnham quotes: Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make. Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
Bo Burnham quotes: All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls. All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham quotes: Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function. Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
Bo Burnham quotes: Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine. Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham quotes: I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost ... my virginity. I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost ... my virginity.
Bo Burnham quotes: I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it. I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.
Bo Burnham quotes: I chose to do comedy instead of going to college. I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham quotes: Love is all about ... whistles. Love is all about ... whistles.
Bo Burnham quotes: Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot. Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.
Bo Burnham quotes: In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool. In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
Bo Burnham quotes: Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it. Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.
Bo Burnham quotes: You How, may I ask, did you get so you, you beautiful true-to-you doer? I've met many today but can honestly say that I've never met anyone you-er. You How, may I ask, did you get so you, you beautiful true-to-you doer? I've met many today but can honestly say that I've never met anyone you-er.
Bo Burnham quotes: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.
Bo Burnham quotes: Your afraid of sharks?Really?They don't even have bones!They have cartilage.Are you afraid of ears too? Your afraid of sharks?
Really?
They don't even have bones!
They have cartilage.
Are you afraid of ears too?
Bo Burnham quotes: How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18 ... Yeah, still believes in gay marriage. How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18 ... Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.

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