Eddie Izzard Quotes

Top 99 wise famous quotes and sayings by Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Eddie Izzard on Wise Famous Quotes.

Eddie Izzard quotes: I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work. I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It's a slow burn thing. It's got an arc. Comedy is more like coke. Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It's a slow burn thing. It's got an arc. Comedy is more like coke.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress. I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do. I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong ... with a spoon in them. I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong ... with a spoon in them.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'd like to have sex with myself. I'd like to have sex with myself.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey. Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.
Eddie Izzard quotes: We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers. We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing. I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support. Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it. Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I've wiped the file? ... I've wiped all the files? ... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem! I've wiped the file? ... I've wiped all the files? ... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!
Eddie Izzard quotes: They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back. They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back.
Eddie Izzard quotes: There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD! There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!
Eddie Izzard quotes: San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here ... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here. San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here ... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete! If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Eddie Izzard quotes: Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it. Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard quotes: There was no religion in my life growing up. Did God invent us or did we invent God? There was no religion in my life growing up. Did God invent us or did we invent God?
Eddie Izzard quotes: Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class? Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard quotes: They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash' They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard quotes: Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish. Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm an Action Transvestite I'm an Action Transvestite
Eddie Izzard quotes: America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome. America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings. I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
Eddie Izzard quotes: When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard quotes: The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps. The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.
Eddie Izzard quotes: It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt ... you weird talking person. It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt ... you weird talking person.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Danger could be my middle name ... But it's John. Danger could be my middle name ... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard quotes: My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death. My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard quotes: You piss me off you Salmon ... You're too expensive in restaurants. You piss me off you Salmon ... You're too expensive in restaurants.
Eddie Izzard quotes: And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way. And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too. Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling. Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off? If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off?
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you're a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion. If you're a performer, people tend to be quite positive about you or they have no opinion.
Eddie Izzard quotes: When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'. When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less. I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way. I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I wanted to be less well-known in comedy. I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
Eddie Izzard quotes: They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them. They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label. If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
Eddie Izzard quotes: All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can. All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I am an evil Giraffe. I am an evil Giraffe.
Eddie Izzard quotes: The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats. The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm covered in bees! I'm covered in bees!
Eddie Izzard quotes: Cake and tea or death? Cake and tea or death?
Eddie Izzard quotes: You're gay, you sell books ... you probably shag the books. You're gay, you sell books ... you probably shag the books.
Eddie Izzard quotes: What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in? What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard quotes: I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
Eddie Izzard quotes: MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic. MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books. I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Never put a sock in a toaster. Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin ... I poked a badger with a spoon. Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin ... I poked a badger with a spoon.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.' Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'
Eddie Izzard quotes: I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard quotes: You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones. You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I am two lesbians in a man's body. I am two lesbians in a man's body.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney? Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm a one-man idiot. I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible. I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there!
Eddie Izzard quotes: "I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird." "I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."
Eddie Izzard quotes: I've done a bit of Latin in my time ... but I can control it. I've done a bit of Latin in my time ... but I can control it.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard quotes: This is not a game of Who The Fuck Are You. This is not a game of Who The Fuck Are You.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words. Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.
Eddie Izzard quotes: We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about? We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about?
Eddie Izzard quotes: I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position. I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.
Eddie Izzard quotes: But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana. But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana.
Eddie Izzard quotes: There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it? There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
Eddie Izzard quotes: I love the fact that trying is respected. The American Dream: if you try, if you build it, they will come. I love that. It's honorable. I love the fact that trying is respected. The American Dream: if you try, if you build it, they will come. I love that. It's honorable.
Eddie Izzard quotes: That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it? That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard quotes: If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan. If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive. I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better. I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen's. They're all frumpy aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousin's marry. Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen's. They're all frumpy aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousin's marry.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU! Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
Eddie Izzard quotes: Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite ... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance? Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite ... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?
Eddie Izzard quotes: Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others. Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama. If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama.
Eddie Izzard quotes: My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal. My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
Eddie Izzard quotes: What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?! What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!
Eddie Izzard quotes: I don't believe that competitions are important. I don't believe that competitions are important.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world. If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed! Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard quotes: You can't land on the moon and say, Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam! You can't land on the moon and say, Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam!
Eddie Izzard quotes: Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up. Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Have you got a flag? Have you got a flag?
Eddie Izzard quotes: It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries. It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I want to live till I die. No more, no less. I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized. Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized.
Eddie Izzard quotes: If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel. If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.
Eddie Izzard quotes: I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us; in humans. I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us; in humans.
Eddie Izzard quotes: Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read. Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard quotes: We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!

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