Eoin Colfer quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Eoin Colfer on Wise Famous Quotes.

I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland.
A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.

Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.

this was business.

A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

The thought of revenge always gave her a warm fuzzy feeling.

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.

*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

And I will not be beaten by that jackass."
"Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass.

Artemis was propped on his elbows. "You hit me," he said in disbelief.

Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.

It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.

Cosmo was halfway through a particularly nasty dream involving two Parasites, Ziplock, and a hair dryer,

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

My bugs don't have bugs.

Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?

Justin Timber-guy

Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

Mr. Charismo? Surely not Tibor Charismo, the most famous man in all of England.

Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.

You display inordinate pride for someone who has completed a task which could have been performed by a lesser primate in a shorter time.

Good. Illegal is always faster.

Hogwarts, it is not, thought the Doctor, realising that no one would appreciate this reference for almost a century.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.

Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!

Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder

No one's ever really ready for a troll.

Gold is power-artemis fowl I liked the artemis fowl series because its about a boy genius

Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

something no good security man would permit.

Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

Foaly twitched his tail contentedly. Genius. No point in being humble about it.

Some instruments seemed like they were held together with duct tape and prayers. Everything looked out of date.

world was dripping down his eyeballs like wet oil paint down a canvas.

Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles."
Holly opened the throttle. "Now there's an order I never thought I'd hear from you.

A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.

The Hitchhiker's Guide is a hundred percent accurate. Reality, however, is not as reliable.

I'm not impressed

People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You're a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written

And if history had taught any lessons it was that humans couldn't get along with anyone, even themselves.

I don't know why it is, Captain Short, but whenever you start agreeing with me, I get decidedly nervous.

Jon Spiro might have "stuff " that the military didn't have, but Artemis Fowl had "stuff " that humans had never seen.

It can play solitaire and minesweeper, replied Artemis innocently.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

So, what did you get for me?"
Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans."
"What?" croaked Artemis.
"And a T-shirt.

The trick to negotiation was to hold all the cards going in and, even if you didn't, to try to look as though you did.

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.

Nobody's death is impending."
... "Well technically everyone's death is impending.

Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly..

Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious.

Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.

Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!

Probably is absolutely the best I can do.

If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

King Nicholas had explained the lense box to

Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?

The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.

I have always loved 'Stig of the Dump.' I think reading that book made me officially realise that I was a reader.

That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart.

If we make it through this, we will be friends. Bonded by trauma.

Nobody ever got rich by wearing a heart on their sleeve, unless it was someone else's heart.

Mona began firing with deadly accuracy, also with a stream of Spanish words that Cosmo suspected were not taught in kindergarten.

If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.

Right, enough talk. I think it's time Mister Vassikin was introduced to my friend, Mister Fist.

Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?

Mortals, screw 'em.

Artemis: Holly, how did you find me?
Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?

Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.

Don't feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

There's always time for babbling.

... even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.

Red climbed like a monkey, I to climbed like a monkey. A very old one. With one leg. And six fingers

Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.

Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!

We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.

I don't like lollipops.

THE BOOKE OF THE PEOPLE. BEING INSTRUCTIONS TO OUR MAGICKS AND LIFE RULES.

How was your ... eh ... trip?"
Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful ...

Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.

I do remember, Holly. I remember it all. Especially you. It's a real comfort to have you here.

And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.

Artemis simple-toon

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!

If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.

I'm on my feet, pacing around the room, punching a fist into my palm, which I stop doing when I realise how drama queen it feels.

Commander: What's that?
Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?

They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
Artemis Fowl

Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. Okay. I said it, it's out there. And I am fine now. So let's move on, shall we? What's the plan?