Helen Fielding Quotes

Top 73 wise famous quotes and sayings by Helen Fielding

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Helen Fielding Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Helen Fielding on Wise Famous Quotes.

Helen Fielding quotes: Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all - British home cooking. Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all - British home cooking.
Helen Fielding quotes: Backlash, actually, by Susan Faludi, Backlash, actually, by Susan Faludi,
Helen Fielding quotes: You can't be ironic about dead people. You can't be ironic about dead people.
Helen Fielding quotes: That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye. That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.
Helen Fielding quotes: Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet. Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet.
Helen Fielding quotes: Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you. Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you.
Helen Fielding quotes: Bet I will become known as brilliant cook and hostess Bet I will become known as brilliant cook and hostess
Helen Fielding quotes: Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have anaccepted status - like geisha girls do Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an
accepted status - like geisha girls do
Helen Fielding quotes: I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage.
Helen Fielding quotes: I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself. I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.
Helen Fielding quotes: Work - once merely an annoying nuisance - has become an agonizing torture. Work - once merely an annoying nuisance - has become an agonizing torture.
Helen Fielding quotes: I like you very much. Just as you are. I like you very much. Just as you are.
Helen Fielding quotes: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs ... Mum ... Hi. Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs ... Mum ... Hi.
Helen Fielding quotes: Is it just me or is Sunday a bizarre night for a first date? All wrong, like Saturday morning or Monday at 2 p.m. Is it just me or is Sunday a bizarre night for a first date? All wrong, like Saturday morning or Monday at 2 p.m.
Helen Fielding quotes: E were always taught, instead of waiting to be swept off our feet, to 'expect little, forgive much'. E were always taught, instead of waiting to be swept off our feet, to 'expect little, forgive much'.
Helen Fielding quotes: Bad enough when a man wanted to touch but could only look. Worse yet when he'd touched and not even noticed. Bad enough when a man wanted to touch but could only look. Worse yet when he'd touched and not even noticed.
Helen Fielding quotes: The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent. The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent.
Helen Fielding quotes: It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but ... it was also a book. It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but ... it was also a book.
Helen Fielding quotes: 10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn' tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK 10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn' tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK
Helen Fielding quotes: I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect ... instead I choose Chaka Khan ... and vodka ... Bridget Jones I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect ... instead I choose Chaka Khan ... and vodka ... Bridget Jones
Helen Fielding quotes: Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me. Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.
Helen Fielding quotes: I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world! I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world!
Helen Fielding quotes: Emotional fuckwittage Emotional fuckwittage
Helen Fielding quotes: Roxster, my photo is of an egg. Roxster, my photo is of an egg.
Helen Fielding quotes: Why does turning on a TV these days require three remotes with ninety buttons? Why? Why does turning on a TV these days require three remotes with ninety buttons? Why?
Helen Fielding quotes: We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change. We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change.
Helen Fielding quotes: Should Never,Ever have got involved with Men again. Had completely forgotten the nightmare of 'Why hasn't he called Should Never,Ever have got involved with Men again. Had completely forgotten the nightmare of 'Why hasn't he called
Helen Fielding quotes: Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply. Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply.
Helen Fielding quotes: One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance. One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance.
Helen Fielding quotes: One has to be in control, otherwise the whole dynamic becomes a total disaster. One has to be in control, otherwise the whole dynamic becomes a total disaster.
Helen Fielding quotes: But the thing about having kids is: you can't go to pieces; you just have to keep going. But the thing about having kids is: you can't go to pieces; you just have to keep going.
Helen Fielding quotes: When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart ... When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart ...
Helen Fielding quotes: HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society! HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society!
Helen Fielding quotes: I hadn't been there ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet. I hadn't been there ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet.
Helen Fielding quotes: I am brave, though I am alone. I am brave, though I am alone.
Helen Fielding quotes: Oh, darling, you can't go around with that tatty green canvas thing. You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who's fallen on hard times. Oh, darling, you can't go around with that tatty green canvas thing. You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who's fallen on hard times.
Helen Fielding quotes: Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss
Helen Fielding quotes: Where is the tuna? Where? Where? Where is the tuna? Where? Where?
Helen Fielding quotes: When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food
Helen Fielding quotes: Our culture is too obsessed with outward appearance, age and status. Love is what matters. Our culture is too obsessed with outward appearance, age and status. Love is what matters.
Helen Fielding quotes: Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with
Helen Fielding quotes: Maybe will go to yoga and become more flexible. Or maybe will go out with friends and get plastered. Maybe will go to yoga and become more flexible. Or maybe will go out with friends and get plastered.
Helen Fielding quotes: Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina. Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina.
Helen Fielding quotes: It occurred to me that if Africa needed us, sometimes we needed Africa a great deal more. It occurred to me that if Africa needed us, sometimes we needed Africa a great deal more.
Helen Fielding quotes: I like you very much. Just as you are. Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones I like you very much. Just as you are. Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones
Helen Fielding quotes: I've had a lot of books rejected in my time. My first novel, which didn't get published, was, with hindsight, crashingly dull. I've had a lot of books rejected in my time. My first novel, which didn't get published, was, with hindsight, crashingly dull.
Helen Fielding quotes: It is horrid to smirk. It is horrid to smirk.
Helen Fielding quotes: Comedy tends to come out of things which are quite painful and serious. Comedy tends to come out of things which are quite painful and serious.
Helen Fielding quotes: Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career. Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career.
Helen Fielding quotes: The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem.It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit. The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem.
It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit.
Helen Fielding quotes: Is the whole world doomed to emotional trauma? Is the whole world doomed to emotional trauma?
Helen Fielding quotes: You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change. You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change.
Helen Fielding quotes: My books have all generated controversy. My books have all generated controversy.
Helen Fielding quotes: As Oscar Wilde says, thirty-five is the perfect age for a woman, so much so that many women have decided to adopt it for the rest of their lives. As Oscar Wilde says, thirty-five is the perfect age for a woman, so much so that many women have decided to adopt it for the rest of their lives.
Helen Fielding quotes: Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual). Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual).
Helen Fielding quotes: I certainly think I'll end up writing about America in some form. I've taken plenty of notes. I like America very much. I certainly think I'll end up writing about America in some form. I've taken plenty of notes. I like America very much.
Helen Fielding quotes: It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals. It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
Helen Fielding quotes: I will not Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week. I will not Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week.
Helen Fielding quotes: Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out? Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?
Helen Fielding quotes: It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage. It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.
Helen Fielding quotes: No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you. No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.
Helen Fielding quotes: I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on. I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.
Helen Fielding quotes: You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz.
Helen Fielding quotes: Nobody wants to be racist and I think that most people aren't. Nobody wants to be racist and I think that most people aren't.
Helen Fielding quotes: I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen. I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.
Helen Fielding quotes: But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else. But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.
Helen Fielding quotes: You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside. You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.
Helen Fielding quotes: mascara-ing her eyelashes with her mouth wide open (necessity of open mouth during mascara application great unexplained mystery of nature). "Don't mascara-ing her eyelashes with her mouth wide open (necessity of open mouth during mascara application great unexplained mystery of nature). "Don't
Helen Fielding quotes: Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha) Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha)
Helen Fielding quotes: This sort of, arrogant individualism which imagines each new generation can somehow create the world afresh. This sort of, arrogant individualism which imagines each new generation can somehow create the world afresh.
Helen Fielding quotes: Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes ... Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes ...
Helen Fielding quotes: I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
Helen Fielding quotes: I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing. I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.

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