Paula Poundstone quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Paula Poundstone

Paula Poundstone Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Paula Poundstone on Wise Famous Quotes.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?

I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

Paula Poundstone quotes: The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

Paula Poundstone quotes: When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.

I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.

I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.

I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.

I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.

I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.

Paula Poundstone quotes: You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.

You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.

Paula Poundstone quotes: The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.

The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.

Paula Poundstone quotes: My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

Paula Poundstone quotes: How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.

How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I don't believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that's indecision.

I don't believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that's indecision.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

Paula Poundstone quotes: Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking for ideas.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone quotes: When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

Paula Poundstone quotes: Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.

Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.

Paula Poundstone quotes: There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

Paula Poundstone quotes: The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone quotes: Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.

I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

Paula Poundstone quotes: The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.

I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

Paula Poundstone quotes: I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

Paula Poundstone quotes: Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.