Ex Husband Funny Quotes: top 32 famous quotes about Ex Husband Funny

Ex Husband Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Ex Husband Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Rita Rudner: Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano. — Rita Rudner

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Joseph Gordon-Levitt: The doctor's wife ate two apples a day,

The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home. — Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Stephanie Lennox: I've been fighting to be who I am

I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for? — Stephanie Lennox

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By E.W. Howe: A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier,

A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife. — E.W. Howe

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By John Cleese: Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over

Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago. — John Cleese

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Sarah Jessica Parker: He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It

He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes. — Sarah Jessica Parker

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Ethan Day: Don't do it gurl," he said with a

Don't do it gurl," he said with a wink. "You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend's husband's dick now drop it. — Ethan Day

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Bill Cosby: Any husband who says, "My wife and I

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. — Bill Cosby

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Joan Rivers: I said to my husband, 'Why don't you

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' — Joan Rivers

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Will Smith: The only man you will ever get is

The only man you will ever get is some fool named Grady who falls asleep in his soup. — Will Smith

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Johnny Carson: The difference between divorce and legal separation is

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. — Johnny Carson

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Philip K. Dick: There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased

There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters — Philip K. Dick

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By William Archibald Spooner: Poor soul - very sad; her late husband,

Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul. — William Archibald Spooner

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: If you have the woman you love, what

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Lady Randolph Churchill: Alma: I rather suspect her of being in

Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him. Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman! — Lady Randolph Churchill

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Rosanna Arquette: I have trouble saying hu ... hu ...

I have trouble saying hu ... hu ... husband. — Rosanna Arquette

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Aditi Mathur Kumar: There is strong. There is Army Strong. And

There is strong. There is Army Strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong. — Aditi Mathur Kumar

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Frank Carson: An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was. — Frank Carson

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Pamela Anderson: You don't want to have to be the

You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet. — Pamela Anderson

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Elsa Einstein: No, I don't understand my husband's theory of

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted. — Elsa Einstein

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Amy Poehler: Hey Lady I don't want to fuck you

Hey Lady I don't want to fuck you husband . — Amy Poehler

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Ljupka Cvetanova: Opposities are married.

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Ashley Scott: What's funny is my husband doesn't have any

What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one. — Ashley Scott

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Jessica Lowndes: I like guys who are honest and funny.

I like guys who are honest and funny. Looks come and go; I want to be 65 years old and laughing with my husband. — Jessica Lowndes

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut: No chimpanzee husband would stand by while his

No chimpanzee husband would stand by while his wife lost all her coconuts. — Kurt Vonnegut

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Pawan Mishra: Most of a husband's life is spent in

Most of a husband's life is spent in doing research on his wife. — Pawan Mishra

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Nancy Thayer: It's funny, but if I had to say

It's funny, but if I had to say whom I'm closer to, who knows me better, I'd have a hard time choosing between my husband and my best friend. — Nancy Thayer

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Regina King: It's funny that until I actually met my

It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. — Regina King

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Mokokoma Mokhonoana: Unbeknown to us, some of the people who

Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Niecy Nash: I don't have a desire to do reality.

I don't have a desire to do reality. Because my truth is not what people are responding to. My truth is funny; I laugh with my husband every day. — Niecy Nash

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Ljupka Cvetanova: He is not an ideal husband. I am

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Ex Husband Funny Quotes By Francesca Annis: The funny thing is I'm not bothered or

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband. — Francesca Annis