Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Fran Lebowitz quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
polite conversation is rarely either
— Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
— Fran Lebowitz
I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
— Fran Lebowitz
I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
— Fran Lebowitz
There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
— Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
— Fran Lebowitz
The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life.
— Fran Lebowitz
I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
— Fran Lebowitz
Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.
— Fran Lebowitz
That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.
— Fran Lebowitz
The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
— Fran Lebowitz
This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
— Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
— Fran Lebowitz
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
— Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
— Fran Lebowitz
If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.
— Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
— Fran Lebowitz
Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
— Fran Lebowitz
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it.
— Fran Lebowitz
No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
— Fran Lebowitz
A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
— Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
— Fran Lebowitz
There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
— Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
— Fran Lebowitz
If you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
— Fran Lebowitz
[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind
you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell. — Fran Lebowitz
you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell. — Fran Lebowitz
[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.
— Fran Lebowitz
New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
— Fran Lebowitz
The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.
— Fran Lebowitz
Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
— Fran Lebowitz
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.
— Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
— Fran Lebowitz
I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
— Fran Lebowitz
Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.
— Fran Lebowitz
I've always been old at heart.
— Fran Lebowitz
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
— Fran Lebowitz
Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.
— Fran Lebowitz
The good thing about being in someone else's apartment is it's so much easier to leave than it is to get someone out.
— Fran Lebowitz
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
— Fran Lebowitz
When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
— Fran Lebowitz
To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.
— Fran Lebowitz
Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
— Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
— Fran Lebowitz
Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
— Fran Lebowitz
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
— Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
— Fran Lebowitz
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
— Fran Lebowitz
If Fran Lebowitz and Ian Fleming had blessed the world with a love child it would have been author J. Fields Jr.
— Edward Medina
If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
— Fran Lebowitz
There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.
— Fran Lebowitz
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
— Fran Lebowitz
When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
— Fran Lebowitz
No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
— Fran Lebowitz
Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.
— Fran Lebowitz
American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
— Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
— Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
— Fran Lebowitz
I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
— Fran Lebowitz
Sleep is death without the responsibility.
— Fran Lebowitz
Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.
— Fran Lebowitz
I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
— Fran Lebowitz
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
— Fran Lebowitz
Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.
— Fran Lebowitz
I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
— Fran Lebowitz
Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner.
— Fran Lebowitz
Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
— Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
— Fran Lebowitz
What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
— Fran Lebowitz
You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
— Fran Lebowitz
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
— Fran Lebowitz
Nothing succeeds like address.
— Fran Lebowitz
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
— Fran Lebowitz
Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.
— Fran Lebowitz
If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
— Fran Lebowitz
I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
— Fran Lebowitz
Generally speaking, it is inhumane to detain a fleeting insight.
— Fran Lebowitz
The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
— Fran Lebowitz
It's very important who the president of the United States is. America is a great idea, so that's why it's a great country.
— Fran Lebowitz
Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.
— Fran Lebowitz
To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
— Fran Lebowitz