Funny Quotes And Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Quotes And
Funny Quotes And Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Quotes And quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.
— Regina Griffin
Hot, raunchy and funny. - GiveMeBooks
— Scarlett Avery
I am not fake, I am just to good to be true
— Mahsati Abdul
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?
ME: MATH. — KanyaACoffman
Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three ... and so on.Nesta — Cathy Hopkins
Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen
— Olivia Cunning
All humans learn from each other's mistakes. Intelligent humans learn how to avoid them, idiots how to do them.
— Raheel Farooq
Vomit and shit, even your own, stink.
— Sheeja Jose
Love is relentless, and so am I ;)
— Keisha Keenleyside
My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams.
— Nenia Campbell
Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal
The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.
— The Covert Comic
The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
While death is sadly inevitable, our grief will soon pass like a swallowed penny through one's bowels.Painful change just takes time. — Jessica Watts
What doesn't kill you makes you CRAZY, GRUMPY, MAD AS EVER? NO it makes you STRONGER! Yep,you'll get there eventually!
— Karen Gibbs
Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.
— Amit Kalantri
I will always choose to be an imbecile. I couldn't cut it as an old fashion, and dry gal.
— Mary Sage Nguyen
Let's play Russian roulette. If you win, I give you a Colombian necktie.
— Natalya Vorobyova
When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.
— Nenia Campbell
Do you remember what I forgot?
— Erica Goros
Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case.
— Carla H. Krueger
Shit down your computer, and restart.
— Claire Chilton
Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
— Jane Dentinger
Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.
— S.K. Tremayne
I like it because it is so funny and harry is so rude and but sometime he ca be nice to people.
— Suzy Kline
I don't think this is working out between us," I told him. "You and I want different things. It's not me, it's you.
— T.J. Klune
Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash
— Hazel Blackthorn
Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW
— Karen Gibbs
Webster said, 'Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.
— Peter Matthiessen
I've nothing against people. Just a***oles. But then, most people are.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
You gazed at the moon and fell in the gutter.
— Thomas Fuller
At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
— Denis Markell
Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for.
— Nenia Campbell
There is no cure for madness except the madness as the cure.
— Santosh Kalwar
Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey
— Amunhotep El Bey
If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin.
— Richie Norton
I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.
— Judith Viorst
You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.
— Amit Kalantri
Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727)
New Orleans, LA — Diana Hollingsworth Gessler
Have you ever chopped down something with an ax? Not fun. I now have serious doubts regarding George Washington and his cherry tree.
— Tammy Blackwell
When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there.
— Amit Kalantri
Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Play and be happy.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.
— Mark Jackman
Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.
— Leah Broadby
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be.
— April Mae Monterrosa
Life isn't over until you're dead. Another ultra-positive, ultra-motivational tweet to improve your day. You're welcome.
— Carla H. Krueger
His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.
— Kiersten Fay
Life and death played out before my very eyes. You don't see these things if you clean your room regularly. — Joan Bauer
And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese
— Lucian Bane
...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.
— K.R. Grace
Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare.
— Santosh Kalwar
I mean emotionally, women are like Bruce Lee and we're like Donald Duck. An' I think a lotta guys are afraid of that.
— Jonathan Ashworth
Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.
— Nenia Campbell
My condolences, you're still alive.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I love your hairless chest." She nuzzled his pecs. "So smooth and sculpted. Like a marble manslut statue.
— Nicole Archer
We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don't. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don't!
— Tamsyn Bester
You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans.
— Raheel Farooq
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
I said,'What's your problem?' Asshole." There was a question behind his question, and that shadow question was 'Do you want to dance?
— Adrian Barnes
My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional.
— Wayne Gerard Trotman
Dogs are angels full of poop.
— Oliver Gaspirtz
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
Now I am shut up with his mother on Bramble farm and she is no better for conversation than prune whip
— Sandra Dallas
Of course, Jules was not a wolf. She was an elephant. But Jules was a very young toy and she had never been to school to learn the difference.
— Julie B. Campbell
People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.
— Wes Adamson
You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The first time I saw a mermaid in my dream, and she looked so real...THAT.'s fishy!!
— Ana Claudia Antunes
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
In the morning, people have a plan for that day. Hardworking people think of what they will do during the day, and idle people on what they should do.
— Eraldo Banovac
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled.
— Saurabh Sharma
You deserve good sperm. You've waited a long time.
— Buffy Andrews
