Jeni's Quotes
Collection of top 40 famous quotes about Jeni's
Jeni's Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jeni's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.
— Richard Jeni
There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans ... weighs as much as the other two.
— Richard Jeni
I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!
— Richard Jeni
Never fry bacon when you're naked.
— Richard Jeni
In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.
— Richard Jeni
You should write about your life. It's kind of funny. When it's not depressing as hell.
— Jeni Decker
In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.
— Richard Jeni
If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.
— Richard Jeni
Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.
— Richard Jeni
Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.
— Richard Jeni
The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?
— Richard Jeni
Easiest job you could ever have ... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.
— Richard Jeni
To me, the acceptable level of fecal matter is ... zero.
— Richard Jeni
My Body is a wide houseA commune
Of bickering women, hearing
their own breathing
denying each other. (House of Changes) — Jeni Couzyn
There is beauty in knowing that the unknown has the potential of being prettier than anything we have ever known.
— Jeni Dhodary
You know what the average person is? Average.
— Richard Jeni
America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!
— Richard Jeni
If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine ... look into that second, less painful career.
— Richard Jeni
My feelings for him grow with every touch, every kiss, every heartbeat. I know he truly is mine, and I truly am his." - Jeni
— K.E. Osborn
Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.
— Richard Jeni
Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.
— Richard Jeni
Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.
— Richard Jeni
