Just For Today Funny Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Just For Today Funny

Just For Today Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Just For Today Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Just For Today Funny Quotes By John Green: You will not kill my girlfriend today, International

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! — John Green

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Nenia Campbell: My book sales are way down today. Also,

My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams. — Nenia Campbell

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Jeevagan Nagarajan: Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people,

Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world — Jeevagan Nagarajan

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Drake: So what I tend to do is to

So what I tend to do is to think of today as the past. It's funny when you comin in first but you hope that you last.. You just hope that it lasts. — Drake

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Bauvard: The amount of educational programming on television today

The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence. — Bauvard

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Dane Cook: I do think I am funny, or I

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning. — Dane Cook

Just For Today Funny Quotes By William Safire: Took me a while to get to the

Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started. — William Safire

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: I phoned the local ramblers club today and

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on. — Tim Vine

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Richelle Mead: I certainly hadn't expected to walk away from

I certainly hadn't expected to walk away from today's trip with joint custody of a miniature dragon. — Richelle Mead

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin. — Jerry Coleman

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Zach Galifianakis: Do you remember that kid that had sex

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing. — Zach Galifianakis

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: So I met the bloke who invented crosswords

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R. — Tim Vine

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Holly Black: Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. — Holly Black

Just For Today Funny Quotes By David Frost: The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple:

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere." — David Frost

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Kevin Keegan: I came to Nantes two-years-ago and it's much

I came to Nantes two-years-ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different. — Kevin Keegan

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: The sky is so clear today you can

The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri. — Jerry Coleman

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Gwen Hayes: You look worse today than you did when

You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes."
"Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. — Gwen Hayes

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End ... ' — Tim Vine

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Steve Lomas: Germany are a very difficult team to play

Germany are a very difficult team to play ... they have eleven internationals out there today. — Steve Lomas

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Tommy Cooper: You know, somebody actually complimented me on my

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. — Tommy Cooper

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Craig Ferguson: Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today,

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy. — Craig Ferguson

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Denis Leary: Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into

Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever. — Denis Leary

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: Boros is not with the team today because

Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding. — Jerry Coleman

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Aristotle.: Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on

Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed. — Aristotle.

Just For Today Funny Quotes By C.C. Hunter: She already had a headache-she didn't want to

She already had a headache-she didn't want to add 'get tortured' to today's to-do list. — C.C. Hunter

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Steven Wright: I got food poisoning today. I don't know

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. — Steven Wright

Just For Today Funny Quotes By R.D. Ronald: Today I plan to smile a lot, only

Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out. — R.D. Ronald

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I went window shopping today! I bought four

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. — Tommy Cooper

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Johnny Carson: It was so hot today that Burger King

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself." — Johnny Carson

Just For Today Funny Quotes By Stacey Marie Brown: Some days you were the bitch and some

Some days you were the bitch and some days you were shit that came out of the bitch's toy poodle. Today was one of those days I was the latter. — Stacey Marie Brown