Remember Funny Quotes
Collection of top 81 famous quotes about Remember Funny
Remember Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Remember Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?
— Rachel Maddow
Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?
— Orson Scott Card
You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.
— Rush Limbaugh
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
— Dane Cook
Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you.
— Thomas Friedman
Nona had been bonkers since I could remember. Dad said it was menopause, but I had looked that up once, and I highly doubted that was the case.
— Holly Hood
I remember one guy saying, "You're the only human out of all of them," and feeling a little concerned that somehow that meant I wasn't as funny.
— Allison Silverman
I remember it was a damn funny thing for a stranger to say," Stephen said. "Old Ones, we Old Ones. With capital letters
you could *hear* them. — Susan Cooper
you could *hear* them. — Susan Cooper
I remember getting a Phoenix Suns T-shirt. I had that Phoenix Suns T-shirt forever. It's the funny things you remember as a kid, but it was a blast.
— Jonathan Lipnicki
Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!
— Rodney Dangerfield
Remember: There's a reason the fairy godmother gave Cinderella two glass slippers.
— Michael Callahan
Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive.
— Adi Alsaid
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, Spring back or Fall in.
— Dave Beard
I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
— Charlie Sheen
I think that should be the anti - speeding advert it should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.
— Frankie Boyle
There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.
— Lola J. May
After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.
— Stacey King
All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.
— Carroll Bryant
Remember: blonde, brunette, and redhead are not personality types.
— Howard Mittelmark
I always remember loving 'Even Stevens' - that show was so brilliant and funny and smart.
— Luke Benward
I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.
— Rick Riordan
The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.
— A.E. Poynor
I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
— Taylor Swift
It's funny, now there are so many bands that I can never remember any of their names. Maybe it's because I'm old.
— Judd Apatow
Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind.
— Rex W. Tillerson
So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.
— Tim Vine
Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols
If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old.
— Auliq Ice
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
— Bob Monkhouse
I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
— Elayne Boosler
Remember that there's no one way of doing things ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.
— Fred Armisen
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
— Groucho Marx
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!
— Chris Rock
Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.
— Bauvard
I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.
— Shaquille O'Neal
If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you.
— Jim Butcher
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
— Wendell Johnson
Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
— Andy Borowitz
I remember love. It's what I have to keep on reminding myself. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you.
— Melina Marchetta
Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.
— Tobias Wolff
Jet, I can almost remember their funny faces
— Paul McCartney
Funny songs, that's my ticket. I can't remember when it started or why it started, it's just something that I NEEDED.
— Jack Black
Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.
— Celia Johnson
Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.
— Damon Hill
When life gets you down, just remember these three words of wisdom. "Bonk!", "Zap!", and "Yowsers!"
— Tyler Webb
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
— Rita Rudner
I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out.
— Harry Lloyd
I have this condition I call impromptu senility. I can't remember a damn thing when I don't want to.
— Laurann Dohner
To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap.
— Jennifer Ziegler
I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo)
— M. Robinson
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
— Robert Orben
I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
— Paul Merton
I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though.
— Jared Polis
I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.
— Bauvard
I start laughing. You have to laugh. Life is just funny sometimes. As long as you remember.
— E.R. Frank
What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods
— Amber Kizer
I don't exaggerate - I just remember big.
— Chi Chi Rodriguez
Last year we drove across the country ... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip ... I don't remember what it was ...
— Steven Wright
As I remember it, the bases were loaded.
— Garry Maddox
Remember that true beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and lipstick tubes
— Jeffree Star
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
— Zach Galifianakis
Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee.
— John Madden
Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.
— Will McIntosh
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.
— Dave Barry
It's difficult to remember when you haven't played it before.
— Eugene Ormandy
I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be.
— Seth Rogen
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
— Dave Chappelle
You never think of films being really creepy that you're in because you just remember the funny stuff.
— Pell James
Do you remember what I forgot?
— Erica Goros
He was listening so I don't remember.
— Eugene Ormandy
Remember. Make him cry uncle.
Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
What early tongue so sweet saluteth me?
— William Shakespeare
What was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you.
— Anne Rice
It's funny to see the finished product of a movie, stuff that's so beautiful, and to remember the particulars.
— Amy Ryan
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off- Cruz
— Derrolyn Anderson