That Not Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about That Not Funny
That Not Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational That Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!
— Mitch Hedberg
I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
— Eden Ahbez
Not that it isn't great to see you. But it's not so great for you. What'd you do wrong? Laugh at his dick?
— Margaret Atwood
Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ...
— Jacob M. Appel
2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.
— Mitch Hedberg
Old man with an old phone. That's never not funny.
— Adam McKay
But it's funny how you can take something that turns out to be fatal and classify it as not worth fixing.
— Catherine Ryan Hyde
The table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.
— Lemony Snicket
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
Your name. That's all I want. I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.
— Colleen Hoover
It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.
— Geraldine Ferraro
If Damon Wayans is not breaking, it's a miracle. He is so funny that he makes everyone die laughing.
— Casey Wilson
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
— Tommy Cooper
I've never gotten to do romantic comedy like most of the girls. Maybe because I'm fit, people assume that I'm not funny?
— Jessica Biel
Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.
— William Safire
If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parody, even though it may not be.
— Adam McKay
I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true.
— Mark Indelicato
Who would want him? he asks himself. Certainly not Ahana, who's funny, bright and so beautiful that it hurts.
— Durjoy Datta
For it is written that if the wise man appears always stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.
— Christopher Moore
I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it.
— Patti LaBelle
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
— Carol Burnett
My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better
— Milton Jones
There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
— Eddie Izzard
A typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant and remove it.
— Evelyn Waugh
Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.
— Howard Stern
What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.
— F. Sionil Jose
A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.
— Paris Hilton
You've got a big ego, Fuentes.""That's not all I've got. — Simone Elkeles
There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.
— Billy Eichner
Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny.
— Janvier Chouteu-Chando
and I had come to this country where I could laugh, so gently, gently laugh at things that were actually not funny.
— Catherine Lacey
So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.
— Patrick Warburton
Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil.
— Henry Ward Beecher
That really was NOT fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? NOT fun.
— Rick Riordan
Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
— Doug Stanhope
She promised herself that from now on she would try to sit as close to Neal as possible. She could not kick someone eight chairs away.
— Tamora Pierce
I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".
— Carla H. Krueger
I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.
— Cameron Diaz
Inconceivable!""You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. — William Goldman
Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.
— Mark Watson
It's not that I can't express myself,it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself. — Kim Myungsoo
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
— Rita Rudner
Ohh, how clever," Aden said and clapped. "A death threat. You know what's funny? That's not even my first of the day.
— Gena Showalter
Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.
— Maynard James Keenan
I did not know that we had ever quarreled.
— Henry David Thoreau
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
— Marilyn Monroe
Stop teasing you two," Suzy jumped in, "not all of Kathy's ideas are wacky.""Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? — E.A. Bucchianeri
You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone.
— James M. Barrie
I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.
— Mitch Hedberg
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.
— Kiersten Fay
I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny.
— Jim Dine
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.
— Gilbert Gottfried
There is only one thing worse than training employees and losing them, and that's not training them and keeping them — Zig Ziglar
Two fat ladies, 88! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course ... they're altogether a higher class of fat lady.
— Steve Coogan
I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.
— Sarah Silverman
Everything that glitters more than gold is not gold.
— Raheel Farooq
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
— Golda Meir
You look like a hot tamale.""That's not really a compliment. — Simone Elkeles
Not that that's the goal, but sometimes these funny insights can also be deeply profound.
— Ted Alexandro
That's the funny thing about trying to escape. You never really can. Maybe temporarily, but not completely.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much." "Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me. — Rachel Caine
You're not worried about being compromised, are you?" he asked. "Because I've already done that.
— Lisa Kleypas
The whole point of straws, I had thought, was that you did not have to set down the slice of pizza to suck a dose of Coke while reading a paperback.
— Nicholson Baker
My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.
— Anna Held
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.
— Jennifer Echols
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
If I were you, I'd go and do that. : VikalpThat's why you're not me! : Yatharth. — Shubham Choudhary
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.
— Neil Gaiman
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
— Ellen DeGeneres
We have allowed the system to be so corrupted that many want justice to be "empathetic," not blind.
— Glenn Beck
I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.
— Aaron McGruder
