Travel Funny Quotes
Collection of top 38 famous quotes about Travel Funny
Travel Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Travel Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey.
— Eduard Heine
August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f**king in a sock.
— Ichiro Suzuki
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
— Steven Wright
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
— Andy Borowitz
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
— Billy Connolly
Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"
— Red Buttons
Jet lag is for amateurs.
— Dick Clark
Come here, cat. You wouldn't want to destroy the space-time continuum, would you? Meow. Meow.
— Connie Willis
I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France.
— Charles De Gaulle
Kansas is a piece of real estate that completely disproves the theory of roundness as a quality of the planet earth.
— W. Bruce Cameron
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
— Andy Borowitz
Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.
— Dave Barry
Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.
— Dave Barry
Q: Does this train stop at Brighton? A: I hope so or there's going to be a hell of a splash.
— Kenny Everett
The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.
— Hal Roach
I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus; unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots.
— Edgar Rice Burroughs
Don't be a tourist. Plan less. Go slowly. I traveled in the most inefficient way possible and it took me exactly where I wanted to go.
— Andrew Evans
A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
— Garrison Keillor
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
— Scott Adams
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
— Les Dawson
The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
— Mark Twain
San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.
— Dave Barry
Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day?
— J.R.R. Tolkien
Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
— Jerry Seinfeld
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
— Rodney Dangerfield