Tom Lehrer Quotes

Top 70 wise famous quotes and sayings by Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Tom Lehrer on Wise Famous Quotes.

Tom Lehrer quotes: Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them. Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.
Tom Lehrer quotes: When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way. Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews. Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
Tom Lehrer quotes: If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
Tom Lehrer quotes: I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand. I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
Tom Lehrer quotes: When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer quotes: If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my fingers. If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my fingers.
Tom Lehrer quotes: It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.
Tom Lehrer quotes: It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I think the people who say we need satire often mean, 'We need satire of them, not of us. I think the people who say we need satire often mean, 'We need satire of them, not of us.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer quotes: We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares. We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
Tom Lehrer quotes: And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for. And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy. Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think. Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again. I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
Tom Lehrer quotes: You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer quotes: There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
Tom Lehrer quotes: If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.
Tom Lehrer quotes: The poor folks hate the rich folks, and the rich folks hate the poor folks. All of my folks hate all of your folks, it's American as apple pie. The poor folks hate the rich folks, and the rich folks hate the poor folks. All of my folks hate all of your folks, it's American as apple pie.
Tom Lehrer quotes: San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug.
Tom Lehrer quotes: The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted. The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
Tom Lehrer quotes: When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead.
Tom Lehrer quotes: On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimalif you don't use your thumbs. Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal
if you don't use your thumbs.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try! Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer quotes: Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air! Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
Tom Lehrer quotes: They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines. They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your . Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .
Tom Lehrer quotes: I think that if people are having trouble communicating with oneanother, the least they can do is SHUT UP. I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one
another, the least they can do is SHUT UP.
Tom Lehrer quotes: People are stupider than anybody. People are stupider than anybody.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things! Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!
Tom Lehrer quotes: Bad weather always looks worse through a window. Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I have always found it interesting ... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. I have always found it interesting ... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.
Tom Lehrer quotes: You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango. You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it. Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer quotes: An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer quotes: The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people. The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
Tom Lehrer quotes: When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.'
Tom Lehrer quotes: I wasn't really a performer by temperament. I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
Tom Lehrer quotes: But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer. But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
Tom Lehrer quotes: In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize; only be sure always to call it ... research. In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize; only be sure always to call it ... research.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home. Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer quotes: For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast! For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
Tom Lehrer quotes: Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Tom Lehrer quotes: So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
Tom Lehrer quotes: People would go anywhere to see a famous person in the flesh, no matter what they do. People would go anywhere to see a famous person in the flesh, no matter what they do.
Tom Lehrer quotes: In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'
Tom Lehrer quotes: If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will. If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night. I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night.
Tom Lehrer quotes: I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example. I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
Tom Lehrer quotes: The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb. The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet. Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Tom Lehrer quotes: Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell! Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!

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